Settling In To Settle Down: Testing the Waters of 2013

2012 gave me a lot to be thankful for. As the year slowly close, I did not feel the same excitement that I did last year. I received something really big this last quarter – a promotion and I’m so grateful to have something that many of office mates covet. But of course, some things come with a price, for this one, its a pending reassignment to Region V, specifically in my home province, Albay.

Since learning about the promotion, I prepared myself for moving yet it still felt hard to let go of the things that I’ve been used to for the last 7 years. Yes I’ve stayed that long in Manila and the family I had there at work as well as all the conveniences and entertainment it offered seemed to have spoiled me. When the order came out, the days seemed to fly so fast and I’m feeling mixed emotions as my scheduled settling in came close.

“Cold feet” as they say, but what really stalls me from feeling excited about settling is to my home, it already sounded like settling down. Do this mean I’d soon give up scratching my itchy feet and minimize my travels? It’s the struggle between my desire to continue wandering and the pressure of settling down. I’m yet unsure about what 2013 will bring me and the family that I’m starting to build, yet we’re testing the waters.

I’m here in Legazpi now and my boss says I’m going to be bored here soon, I might but  I hope to get my old-perky self back up. There’s no use mopping around so, I weighed the perks of being here, I’d have my Teloyskie with me all the time and we can plan our trips together soon.

It should be easy, where I am right now lies the Majestic Mayon Volcano complemented by sapphire waters of Albay gulf. I am just a couple of hours away from the friendly giants of Donsol, Sorsogon, undiscovered crystal blue beaches in Matnog, Sorsogon, and also a couple of hours away from CamSur Watersports Complex and a lot more around waiting to be discovered.

2013 have just started and though a lot of things seemed unsure yet, that will be the thrill of it!

Albay Parks and Wildlife: Visit to the Zoo and A Bit of Bonding

If someone would ask me what’s the sweetest deed that Baba has done for me, there would be too many – but most of it were his efforts at bonding with my son and family. I feel his genuine sincerity in caring for Teloy and even for my sister and baby Enzo. I know that even without me around, he would treat my son like his own, and that he would do it not because me, but simply because he wants to. 

Our visit to the nearby zoo was no different. It was a Sunday and for quite a time, my sister wasn’t able to go out much so we took her and baby Enzo with us. We heard Sunday mass first and headed for the zoo. Despite the heat, the boys, Baba, Teloy and Enzo enjoyed looking at the animals. There were other families in the zoo, they were prepared with packed lunch and picnic baskets. Teloy was hungry soon and so we left and dropped by Palamigan in Daraga Market for our lunch.

All this time, Baba carried Enzo, called out to Teloy while he played, took them to check out the birds and monkeys. It was a smooth, easy and fun trip for the kids. I always claim to be independent and able to do things without guys around, but Baba has made himself an irreplaceable part of my life, and he’s making his way into Teloy’s and my family’s life.

Sizing up Mom’s Man: He’s Okay for A Daddy but NOT for Kissing Mommy!

Even before Baba met my son Teloyskie, he’s already been real worried and asks me over and over if I think my son will like him. He would send my son toys and gifts and support his school activities even before they were introduced. And when I did introduce him, Teloy shot him with the same Nerf gun that was Baba’s gift to him!

It was a scene that we’d always laugh at, but Teloy have easily warmed up to Baba’s presence. They were fast friends and Teloy was very affectionate to his Tito. I can’t help but smile when I look at them together. If they’re coloring isn’t too far, no one would ever question their relationship (hehe). He asks Teloy if he can be his daddy and of course my son said yes! But when Baba asks if he can kiss mommy, my son readily growls and says no!
Anyway, we’re seeing a lot of improvements, my son is okay with holding hands but really no to kissing mommy. Funny but I guess it’s normal for any son to size up any man that comes close to mommy. I’m really thankful for Baba’s unending patience and marvelous effort with my son and my family. When he asked if I can share me and my son’s life with him, I know how serious and sincere he is. And I would always be thankful for the chances given to us. 

Of Sunsets and Sunrise: A Story of Us

Two of the most beautiful sights that every human being seem to overlook are sunrise and sunsets. Living the busy life, working 8-5 and keeping pace with the rat-race leaves us with very little time to spare much less a place to view and appreciate these beautiful phenomenon. So in every vacation, travel or trip that me and Baba had, we always took time to stop and appreciate sunsets and sunrise anywhere we are.

But for me these two are much more than sights to behold. These two are very iconic or maybe symbolic on how I view my relationship with Baba.

A Story of Us –

My single life has been set, I had plans, I was independently happy. His coming was a surprise, as slowly as a siesta-ful afternoon. Then it was all too fierce, a gloriously hot and beautiful sunset that was but too brief.

Dusk of uncertainty claimed us. What went wrong? Why the sudden cold? Both of us suffered the darkness. It rendered as weak, desolate, and almost insane. No one knows where to go or what to do, words were kept hushed. Still we waited and held on despite uncertainties, despite the pain, and despite the risks it entailed.

And then light came forth. It was cool, calming and peaceful. It called upon us to watch once again how great things can be. Slowly, it woke up a sleepy world. It’s warmth chased the cold and slowly enveloped us. The cool light started to heat up and burst into one magnificent sight – sunrise. A new hope, a new beginning. It tells us to watch what lay before us, our future bright, full of light, warmth and beauty.

I love sunsets, I love how we are given chances to slow down. I love how it prepares us for the challenges of the dark. I will go through these once again for I know that I will never be alone in the darkness. And each dark night will produce beautiful mornings soon enough. I will wait for each morning to come with much hope and longing and when it comes, I will gaze upon you like my most awaited sunrise every time.

Of 6th’s and 31st’s

Warning: EMO Post Ahead

Pardon me for being a little bit mushy, but today my travel buddy, my partner and my best friend (the love of my life) celebrates his 31st birthday.  I admit to being a hesitant gf. A lot things have happened, last year on your birthday things we’re not so good and we were on the brink of losing each other. I don’t know how it happened, it could have been me or was it you, maybe it was both of us that never truly let go?

And like I said, I am so thankful that God eventually gave you to me and gave us another chance. Everyday I will love you and everyday I will thank him for his plans for the 3 of us.

One Great Man: Sec Robredo’s Bio From My Inbox

One of the most shocking news I’ve heard last week was the crash of the Piper Seneca plane that is supposed to take Secretary Jesse Robredo from Cebu direct to Naga City. I thought it was a joke, but once I got home and heard the news I still find it unbelievable. These things only happen in the movies or to other people.

I wasn’t personally acquainted with the good Secretary, but he had close connections with my former boss. Both of them served Naga City and seem to share the same outlook when it comes to politics and governance. I was once tasked to contact the office of the Secretary to ask for a Bio and photos of him. I browsed back and searched for the data – it’s still here in my email.

***

Jesse M. Robredo, incumbent mayor of Naga City, Philippines, is an internationally recognized expert in local governance.

  • He is an Edward Mason Fellow and a graduate of Masters in Public Administration at the John F. Kennedy School of Government, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts. Previously, he completed his Masters in Business Administration at the University of the Philippines, finishing at the top of his class as university and college scholar. He is an alumnus of the De La Salle University, having obtained undergraduate degrees in Industrial Management Engineering and Mechanical Engineering.
  • Mayor Robredo joined San Miguel Corporation’s Magnolia division after his graduation from De La Salle in 1980. Returning home to Naga City in 1986, he was named Program Director of the Bicol River BasinDevelopment Program, an agency tasked to undertake integrated area development planning in the region’s three provinces.
  • In 1988, he won his mayoralty bid, making him the youngest Philippine city mayor at the age 29. He would later serve the city for an unprecedented six 3-year terms as local chief executive.
  • Cited in 1999 by Asiaweek Magazine for transforming Naga City from a lethargic Philippine city into one of Asia’s Most Improved, Robredo energized the bureaucracy, dramatically improved stakeholdership and people participation in governance, in the process restoring Naga to its preeminent position as premier city of the Bicol Region. Today, Naga is considered a model local government in the country and a laboratory of local government innovation.
  • In recognition of his skills and competence as a leader and development manager, his peers elected Robredo president of the League of Cities of the Philippines in 1995, the national association of city mayors. He was also elected chairman of the Regional Development Council, the regional planning and coordinative body of Bicol’s six provinces and seven cities, from 1992- 98. Since 1995, he also chairs the Metro Naga Development Council.
  • In recognition of his work, Robredo received 14 major individual awards, including the 2000 Ramon Magsaysay Award for Government Service, the 1996 Outstanding Young Persons of the World (TOYP) Award, the Outstanding Young Men of the Philippines (TOYM), 1998 Konrad Adenauer Medal of Excellence as Most Outstanding City Mayor of the Philippines and the first ever “Dangal ng Bayan ” Award of the Civil Service Commission. In March 2008, he was conferred an honorary Doctor of Humanities degree by the Far Eastern University in Manila.
  • A trustee of Synergeia Foundation, a national advocacy group for education governance reforms, Robredo is a member of the Liberal Party of the Philippines and a prime mover behind the Kaya Natin!, a national movement that seeks to bring genuine change and ethical leadership in the country.
***
The good Secretary leaves a flame burning for young reformers to continue what he as started. Quoting Ms. Pia’s favorite “Jessisms” – 
“We do not need another EDSA…for our country to move ahead. EDSA must be everyday. That means everyone understands he has an obligation t

o serve. That means reform is an every day activity. That means the daily grind is more important than the one-time heroic moment.”

“I say that what brings us together is far more powerful than what pulls us apart. What brings us together is the welfare of our people, the greatness of this nation.”

“The best legacy that we can leave to our children is the knowledge that we walked the ‘matuwid na daan’ and turned this nation into a great one. This can trump politics and patronage–any day, anytime.”

What’s (In) Your Excess Baggage?

Living the independent-jet-setting-single mommy life, I never seriously thought about future relationships. I was happy with how my life is going and my son is fully content to just have me and the guidance of my mom and dad as he was growing. 

I admit not having a high regard for men when it comes to relationships. (Bitter lang. lol) I consider people who find their partners and stayed happily together really lucky to have one another. I thought that most relationships don’t really last long, and sooner or later one will only get hurt and suffer. I guess I was just too scared to go through tough relationships again so I simply shed of any interest from the male species soon as it shows.

But God simply had his plans set and gave me one special person who wished to be part of  adventures and misadventures of Mommy Cotz and Teloyskie’s life. I consider myself lucky to finally have someone to share everything with, but more than that, I also realized that I’ve got a lot hanging at the back of mind. I never considered my son to be an excess baggage the way some people think of kids in this kind of relationships. What I had in abundance are packs of doubts, cynicism and fear. 


Little by little, I started opening up again to loving and sharing. As my son would always say, “dapat share-share,” it all started with his interests in my adventures and the way he looks into my life as an inspiration. He was always amazed at how I handle problems and still be able to ride the waves gracefully. He can’t believe that I’m always broke but still manage my finances – it wasn’t always easy but it was fun and flattering to have him around. And so, I finally decided to give romance on the road another try… 



TeenAge Dream and Musing’s on a Lovely February 1st

No Regrets, just Love.
We can dance, until we die..
You and I, we’ll be young forever..
(Teenage Dream, K. Perry)

Love does make a person feel young – mind, body and spirit. Some call it hormones, giving us that giddy and exhilarating feeling.

A few days ago, Katy Perry had her concert here in Manila. I didn’t watch, though I am really quite a fan. She and Zooey Deschanel do look a lot like sisters, really good looking and nice music too. Though her songs from her album “teenage dream”seemed like a series of stories from high school and young adulthood experiences, it does pull strings of emotions from girls who can relate.

No, I don’t have that much experiences on love and all that way back (am a late bloomer!) but how I do wish I have some! (F na F lang!) I had been and will always be a hopeless romantic. I always imagine myself to be the girl in movies I have seen while I was growing old.

But my relationship experiences did wasn’t the love that I’ve expected. It was the “complicated,” unhealthy kind of love that almost turned me into a pessimist, a cynic when it came to love. I learned to effectively keep my feelings and allowed only the over-flowing mother’s love that I had for my son. I was like that for a couple of years, I never really knew what I’ve been missing…

I’ve just realized that it is only now that I’m already turning 30-ish and with a 5 year old son, have I felt a little more free to express my feelings of love and affection. 

A couple of years back, my friends and people around me thought me a “toughie” for always keeping calm and being able to show emotions. Now I realized, it wasn’t strength that made me keep my feelings to myself – it was fear. I always considered showing of emotions especially Love as a weakness. If you aren’t careful, you’ll only get hurt. (bitter lang eh)

My friends and people who really loved me, were patient in showing me otherwise. They might not realize what they did, but I think I am bolder and braver now when it comes to expressing love and affection to people that I care about. This I realize doesn’t make me or anyone else a “softie,” saying it and expressing it makes me breathe easier, it makes me feel free, happy (giddy actually!) and content. 

I grew up not saying “i love you’s” to my parents and siblings, but I became the first to show them I through hugs and kisses. And I’m passing the habit to my son plus the a habit of saying and expressing his feelings to people he liked, at his age, I know he’d still do as we ask, but I hope that he won’t grow out this habit and instead influence others to do the same. 
Love, we have a lot of it, I know. We all love in every different way. 
I love myself…
I love my son…
I love my family..
I love my friends..
I love my job..
I love writing…
I love exploring, adventures, travel, people, culture, history, food, music, dance.
I love the sights, smells, sounds, taste and feel of everything around me.
I love every experience and challenges that life puts in my way..
I love God and the plans he’s set up for me..
and I love the fact that somebody loves me the way i wanted and needed to. 

February, it’s the love month, and maybe I’m having the love bug that’s why I’m writing this post. 🙂

The Dangers of Romantic Comedies – Re-posting from the FemaleNetwork.com

valentine’s day is just a week away.. and what do single mommies to get through this date? some would probably spend the day with their kids- the love of their lives… or with single friend? maybe, but there are also those that would just sleep it through… watch a movie alone at home or things like that..

if im spending valentine’s day alone, i might just watch my favorite romantic comedy of sorts, but guess what.. i found this:

Why Romantic Comedies should carry a warning (post from femalenetwork)

…for being entirely fictional and in no way should be expected to happen in real life.
romantic_comedieis.jpg
Yes, we know there are countless kilig stories out there that could rival any Hollywood chick flick you ever saw. But when you think about it, what made these kilig stories really click is the element of surprise involved. You never thought they could happen. It’s when you start to believe someone would or should one day do something outrageously fantastic for you that you begin to have a problem.

Remember the love myths we debunked for you? A lot of them really came from these seemingly harmless romantic comedies we devour. They heighten our expectations about love and relationships to sometimes unrealistic levels, as shown by a recent study done by researchers from Heriot-Watt University in Scotland. It was found that women who enjoy watching chick flicks seem to think their men can read their minds and immediately give them what they want.

Does that ring a bell? Cosmopolitan.com’s Victoria Lowe names three signs that romantic comedies may be ruining your love life.

You’re quick to buy into the destiny trap.
If you think every guy you meet who happens to share practically all your interests and pet peeves can be your “The One,” there’s a very good chance you’ve seen too many rom-coms. You should know that these similarities are not enough to base a relationship on. “Sometimes fate, if you believe in it, brings two people together to learn important life lessons, but not necessarily to be happy together for the rest of their lives,” says Paul Coleman, Psy.D., author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Intimacy.

You expect him to move mountains for you after every sweet gesture you make.
You may be the sweetest girlfriend on earth, always cooking up ways to surprise your boyfriend and showing him how much you love him. But then you wait around for him to do at least the same for you, if not so much more—and you throw a fit when he doesn’t. Where’s the love in that? Make sure everything you do to make your man happy is out of sheer love for him—and not what you expect him to do for you in return.

You believe nothing could ever ruin your rock-solid relationship.
It’s not a “happily ever after” tale. “Any attitude that automatically presumes your relationship is invincible and beyond any serious problems qualifies as overoptimistic, and is a sign that you may have some unrealistic expectations,” says Coleman. Every relationship has its flaws, and going through and recovering from problems is all part of having a healthy relationship, you just have to accept that.

Just keep it real, never underestimate the power of communication, and take these romantic comedies for what they are: fantasies that are meant to amuse us.

See lets just keep it that way. Single moms’ world continues to turn no matter what they feel or whatever happens. fantasies should stay where they are, we’re in a real world and all things we want or wish for don’t really happen here.

Musings: Motivating Words for a Proscrastinating Blogger

hoping to find more time to update my blog..
our office now has a server – internet speed is controlled, as well as 100% of sites i know are blocked off. (what’s the use of paying for a broadband now?)
hoping to earn more, and just buy myself a laptop and subscribe to smartbro wireless.
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okay more than work –
i hope i can find sometime to finish the book i just bought – twilight! (super late na to read this)
been hearing a lot of reviews, even got the 4 ebooks of the series. i really think i’m beginning to be a fanatic.

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but really… hope i can put in more time in day.
more time to spend with teloy..
more time to enjoy everything that life has to offer..